Here’s to 2013!

I for one, (and I’m sure I’m not the only one), am happy for a new year. I’m glad 2012 is over. It was a very crazy year and one that marked a big shift in my life on many levels.

2013 is going to be a fresh start in many different aspects and areas of my life. Like so many others, this year I’ve embraced a word. A word I feel encompasses a lot of what I want to bring into my life this year. I wasn’t looking for my word, at least not actively. But when it popped in my head, it felt right from head to toe.  It was probably a few hours later when a pretty little lady popped into my head and a little whisper that said “Paint me”. Eventually, was my response. There was the mundane things to do, I had to get a workout in and laundry to be done, among other mundane tasks.

It didn’t take long for that little whisper to become a full on scream! Ok. I can take a hint.

I never expected “Shine” to be my word. But the more I look at the word, look at my finished painting, and say the word to myself, the more Shine just feels oh so right.

Shine

Acrylic on stretched 27 1/2 inch x 30 inch canvas

My shining lady was in control from the moment I laid pencil to canvas. She needed to be infused with what I wanted to bring into my life, infused with all the positive and releasing all the negative. I took a lesson from Lifebook 2012 and used her hair to write out all that I wanted to change and invoke in my life. I admit it was empowering to do this step and just let go of the whole process.

Shine in progress

As I look upon my painting and take my word to heart, I think of all the aspects in my life that I am changing and shining in. I’ve gotten back on the wagon and started working out again and I feel amazing and have already lost 3 pounds (GO ME!). I feel as if I’ve finally embraced exercise and how it makes me feel connected with my body, something that was seriously lacking.

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching as far as my art goes and where I want to go from here. I was blessed with 2 sales last year and am very thankful for that. I’ve been told by friends and family a like that I should do sell my work and crafts at art and craft fairs in the area. It’s been something that I’ve toyed with in the past off and on. So I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching with that. I’d love to be able to stay home and take care of my family and home and be able to financially contribute to our household by doing the thing I love most, creating. Because let’s face it, finances are tough for everyone. Even more so when you add in 2 hospital stays a week long each and all the expenses that goes right along with them that you are still trying to catch up on. I feel guilty that hubby is the one working and bringing home the bacon so to speak. It’s at the point where I either get a part time job, or start creating more to help contribute financially. True, it’s not going to be steady. But every little bit helps. There’s still a lot of soul searching going on in that area.

Shine at home on our family room wall as a constant reminder to shine in all that I do

2013 will be about shining for me. Shining in all that I work towards and do. Sure I’m going to drop the ball from time to time. But I am going to pick myself up, put a smile on my face and just keep on shining.

This year it’s time for me to SHINE!

 

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Life,2013,Lifebook 2012,Shine,art,change,new year

The result of play...

I guarantee you 100% of the time when I create art, I have some idea already what it's going to be and how I am going to go about bringing what's in my head to life on the page/canvas. It's very, VERY rare that I create something without having that basic idea. Life Book's week 8 lesson was with Mystele and it was all about just letting go and playing.

For me, it was very freeing just starting with a page and adding layer after layer. I played with colors I don't usually use (there's a lot of red in there) on a regular basis. I played with tissue paper. I played with book pages. I played with bubble wrap and even used some rubbery shelf liner to add texture. I played with charcoal pencils and some india ink. 

I even tried something I've never done before, "pulling" an image from the many layers on the page. I wasn't sure how my page would turn out, but I'm really pleased with how she did turn out and how I feel afterwards. It just feels like a huge weight of what I should do, what I shouldn't do, was just lifted off my shoulders and tossed aside. I can see myself creating like this a lot more often.

A bit of soul searching…

As nature begins it’s awakening, I am slowly finding the balance I’ve missed. I’ve been creating more art, granted it’s for Life Book, but it’s art none the less. I’ve also learned that I need to embrace all aspects of who I am, not just focus on part. Where I love art and creating art, I also love my herbs. I love growing them, tending them, and using them. I look forward to adding to my herb garden. I also look forward to a bit of rearranging downstairs so that I may pursue my love of soap making (I used to make soap and candles all the time).

 

As I’ve been longing to be outdoors once again, I’ve been looking into herbalism courses once more. Last night as I was taking an inventory of all my herbs to see what I was low on. And that’s when I made a realization. I’ve been neglecting my natural side a bit. I used to work with herbs and plants on a regular basis whether it was cleaning, cooking, making teas, incense, soaps or just growing them. I used to use them all the time before my son was born. After he was born, it was just easier to run to the store and get what was needed. Thankfully, I was mindful and we bought the 100% natural products, but it just wasn’t the same.

Hubby’s recent psoriasis flare up has me thinking herbs again. And has me wanting to cut out all the various chemicals that we have floating around our home and return to a more natural way of doing things.

So I have a bit of soul searching to do. To really understand where I see myself going from this point.

Searching for the Balance Within

Where has the time gone? Frankly I really don’t know. It’s been a whirlwind since Thanksgiving really. Not the busy kind of stuff, more of the internal contemplation stuff.

I’ve tried numerous times to come up with a blog post of some sort, and found that I’ve sat in front of the computer screen staring at the blinking cursor because the words just wouldn’t flow. The last thing I wanted to write about is my normal day, washing laundry, making sure dinner’s on the table at a reasonable hour, etc.

In January, Life Book started over at Willowing, which has just been an amazing blessing for me. It’s a year long course with some amazing teachers. As I’ve completed each lesson, I found myself internalizing a lot of things.     

                  

Celebrating my Goddess Super Powers (week 1)

Mainly I’ve been searching out the internal balance I’ve long since misplaced. It makes me wonder what changed within myself to allow my internal balance to be replaced with this feeling of being lost. Why had I not noticed that this precious balance was slowly slipping away from me?

There are just so many things that I want to do an accomplish in my life, and yet I find that the lack of motivation rather disturbing. Not only has this lack seeped into my creative energy, it’s starting to creep back into how I take care of myself. Since May of 2010, I’ve lost 50 pounds through paying attention to what I eat and exercising more. But since Thanksgiving, I’ve noticed that I’ve been turning to food again for that comfort. Which is very frustrating for me and I’ve kicked myself for it.

I’ve been doing art. Not nearly as much as I want to on a daily basis, but I’m getting there. I’ve been completing each of the Life Book lessons as well as practicing some other art techniques (I’m still working on perfecting acrylic transfers). I have numerous ideas as to what I want to create. But I sit down to work on something and end up drawing a blank. But Life Book has been helping, I have slowly felt the little hints of the balance within.

So I will continue on, slowly peeling away all the numerous layers within until I find that balance. I hope that with each layer, I’ll rediscover who it is I truly am and maybe one day finally accept myself and all my imperfections.