I was a shy kid. Almost painfully so. I was the one who was happiest sitting in the back of the class and never raising my hand, even if I did know the answer. Sure I had my small handful of friends that I love dearly and had my moments of being the funny one, or the loud one. But when I wasn’t around those friends, I remained invisible. And for the most part, I liked it that way.
I think a lot of it had to do with moving around a lot as a kid. I remember plenty of school years being interrupted because Dad got a new job somewhere and we had to move..again.
But that shyness came with a cost. Sitting aside, quiet, longing to be part of the larger group. Wishing to be included, to be asked to join in. Wishing just once to have the courage to jump right in.
Shyness is something I struggle with even today. And it’s something that affects everyone around me, especially my son.
It affects all aspects of my life. Even the aspects I never thought it would. It’s has wrapped it’s little tendrils around everything. It’s so hard to try and break those old habits of remaining invisible.
But it’s something that I am trying to work on. Especially when it comes to my dreams and what I want to accomplish.
In the meantime, I make art. I make art to cope with things that I am dealing with. I make art that I’m inspired to create. I make art to help heal whatever is deep within. I make art in hopes that one day…
I will overcome and be successful.