WIP Tuesday ~ Some deep thought...

I enjoy reading. However, I am not one of those avid readers who knows what books are coming out or what books are topping the list for the year. Half the time I don't know a book comes out until they have made a movie of it. Sad? Yes, very.

A lot of times I end up watching a movie before reading the book. It happened when I watched The Mysts of Avalon. I bought the book and read it, fell in love with the book. The movie was ok, but I prefer the book. Of course there are times where I see something then read the book and love both just as much. That happened when I saw Wicked and then read the book. I adore both.

I just watched Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts. It's one that I've wanted to see I saw the movie trailer for. 

from Amazon.com

I finally got to see it while the kiddo was at school and the hubby was at work (I'm sure hubby will thank me for that one later). I do have to say that I was touched by it. I was surprised by how much I related to the main character Liz.

I left college early because I couldn't afford it. I was a cashier at Wal Mart when I met Chris. We got had a long distance relationship for 8 months before moving in together. Got married 5 months after that. We both struggled with who we were and what we really wanted to do in life. He's discovered what he's wanted to do, and me? Well...

"Maybe you're a woman in search of a word."

I am still searching for my word. Don't get me wrong. We're doing great, we have a wonderful little boy, a roof over our heads, food on our plates. But somewhere I lost my word and who I really was. I'm not sure where I've lost myself. Was it when I left home for college? Leaving college? Was it after getting married? Was it after my son was born? 

I don't think anyone is able to pin point the exact moment that they loose who they are. I often wonder when I lost myself. I struggle on a day to day basis to figure out who I am now. But somewhere down the line, I've learned to care more for other people than I have myself. And the sad thing, it shows. Boy does it show.

  I can honestly say I am in search of my word. That spark that is buried deep inside somewhere. The spark that makes life worth while and not just about going through the motions. The spark that has long since been lost.

I'll find my word. Just wait.